Sense
by emicha
Summary: She knew Gin would be beyond mad upon finding her dead. A little piece of her even wondered if he would be sad as well. She doubted it. OS written for #yourdarkestweek on tumblr. Prompt: Day 4- Shinigami


The call came in earlier than Gin had expected; but then again, Sherry was a smart one.  
It had only been two days since the death of Miyano Akemi, two days since he'd eliminated the tumour that had grown and begun to spread all the way through his private life.  
Two days since he'd taken the first relaxed breath in months.  
He wouldn't have to worry about the treacherous ideas Miyano would feed her sister anymore. He wouldn't have to fear Sherry to be gone by morning, swallowed up in her sister's foolish suicide missions.  
And the best thing yet, he wouldn't have to consider any possible consequences treason would have for his lover any longer. As of now, he could finally be at peace.  
With that in mind he answered the call.

" _Why is she dead?"_

When those collected words greeted him instead of tears, he had to admit that he was taken aback. Gin had expected weeping and wailing, had been prepared to comfort a pain he didn't know nor would ever experience.  
Had he been so wrong about Sherry's love for her sister; had he miscalculated the grief Miyano's death would cause?  
Gin recalled the numerous times Sherry had talked about her sister. The way her face had brightened up in those moments had spoken of deep affection, not the indifference he could hear now.  
For a second, he wondered if all the hard work he'd invested in getting rid of Miyano had been unnecessary in the long run, but decided against this idea soon. Being done with Miyano was many things, but not a mistake.  
Yet, the lack of devastation in Sherry's voice was off plan. In the end, tears could always be dried with lies; calmness, however, demanded a truth he couldn't give. _Ever._

"I'm on my way to you, we talk then."  
After that, the other end of the line went dead without another word.

Gin found her waiting inside her lab. Sherry's face didn't betray any hint of emotion, a fact he would've admired if it wasn't making his plans so much harder. The scientist stood when he entered the room. She wore the same clothes as last night, so he deduced she hadn't made it home from his place this morning.  
"Since when did you know?" She asked in the same stoic manner as on the phone earlier.  
He sensed that they were past greetings today.  
"The morning after it happened."  
Gin made a step towards her, wanted to get hold of her, but she turned away.

"You had plenty of opportunities to tell me since then."  
Just when he was about to answer, she threw yesterday's newspaper at him. Miyano had made it to the front page.  
He cursed himself. For days he'd tried to keep Sherry off any news whatsoever. Despite the sharp gesture, her voice remained calm.  
"Why do I have to learn from the newspaper that my sister is dead?"  
They stared at each other. To that question he had no answer that wouldn't make everything worse. He let silence speak for itself.  
"Who did it?" She asked then. She wouldn't meet his eyes this time and he knew that she feared the one answer he wouldn't ever give her. _The truth._  
He'd done it. He'd killed the only family she'd left in order to fill the now empty spot with himself. He would savour every moment of it.  
"I don't know." Gin lied.

"Why, then? What did she do?"

"There was talk of betrayal."  
Sincere surprise showed in Sherry's face.  
She opened her mouth to contradict his words, but knew better than claiming her sister had always been faithful to the Organization.  
But _real_ betrayal? That sudden? Sherry couldn't see any reason in it.  
Her sister would never have done something that would get both of them into trouble, not while the affair with that FBI agent was still an omnipresent threat to them.  
"She wouldn't have tried to leave without telling me."  
Upon speaking her words, she realised how lame they must've sounded. Truth was, she couldn't have sworn on her sisters loyalties; they'd met so rarely and never talked about the Organization, let alone of plans for leaving it. She couldn't deny the possibility that Akemi might have had her own agendas.  
"You mean she wouldn't have tried to escape without _you_."  
The edge in Gin's tone made Sherry narrow her eyes. "What are you implying?"  
"I'm saying that you're lucky nobody thinks you've any connection to her treason. I'm sorry for your loss, but it's just one less thing to worry about."  
Sherry glared at him as hot fury rose inside her. She knew he could be insensitive- it was a flaw they shared- but this statement was awfully cold, even for him.

Sherry was about to scold him for it, when another thought crossed her mind.  
What if not only Gin had worried about her sister, but the Organization itself? She had always been the important one; her sister had been little more than a mere afterthought of the glorious scientists their parents had been.  
What if the Organization had feared betrayal not from her sister, but from herself?  
In the end, blood was thicker than water, wasn't it?  
As her legs gave in, Sherry took hold of her desk. That one ugly idea took root in her head and suddenly breathing became strangely hard.  
"Why did she _really_ have to die?"

Gin had taken another step towards her and searched her face. He could watch all that composure Sherry had mustered crumble. He couldn't decide if it was a good thing or not.  
He forced the roughness from his touch and took her ashen face into his hands.  
"I don't know." He claimed time, she knew that it was just another lie.

Everything felt too wrong to be real. And of course everything was in fact very wrong. Her sister was dead and nobody would tell her why. It was also very likely that she was the cause of this wrongness. But the worst thing was that the man she'd assumed she could trust, lied to her face just when her world stopped to make sense altogether. She felt hot and cold at the same time.  
"Liar." Sherry hissed and drew back from his touch.  
Gin let go of her.

Later, Gin realised that it had been a mistake to soften his grip instead of firming it. He should've had held onto her as long as possible.  
He turned away from Sherry; he wanted a cigarette, he wanted peace. He wanted to be completely free of the looming shadow that had been Miyano.

Too late did he notice that Sherry had made herself busy. Frantically she'd started to pull out the cables from her computer. It's screen went dark.  
Gin raised an eyebrow and tried to grab the woman's wrist to stop whatever she was doing, but she was already heaving the computer.  
A second later the device hit some chemical samples and crushed them beneath it.  
There was the loud rattle of breaking glass that would soon start to attract curious glances from the other lab staff.

"What do you think you're doing?" Roughly he pulled her away from the desk and the broken samples, which he assumed weren't all too healthy to breath in.

"I'll destroy any progress of that damned drug unless I'm told what really happened." She fought against his grip, which earned her little more than an irritated look.  
"You don't know what you're saying."

She only stared back at him. He wondered when exactly the fire inside her eyes had started to kindle.  
Gin decided she was out of her mind, she was… in shock, he realised then. He'd been a fool to not notice sooner. The lack of tears, the grave mood swings, the nonsense from her mouth; it only made sense.

He softened his grip anew. He looked at Sherry's shattered work and lead her out of the lab.  
To his displeasure a little crowd of scientists had already gathered. He didn't want them to see Sherry losing it, but attracting more attention wasn't good either.

"You're in shock." He started calmly. "Get yourself together right now and we shall never speak of this again." Gin indicated the mess inside her lab.  
Ignoring him, Sherry noticed the curious faces as well. She decided on the spot that she hated all of them, especially the one's who were an inherent part of the Organization. It seemed wrong that these parasites lived while her sister didn't.  
"What are you looking at?" She hissed at the crowd. "Why don't you go and mind your own fucking business?!"

The people began to whisper and Gin pushed her farther down the floor.

She stood with her back to the wall. Suddenly, his face was unbearably close, his features full of false pity. When Gin spoke, his voice was oddly soft. He was full of lies.  
"Enough, Sherry." It sounded like a plea, but she knew him better than that. "Don't go where I cannot help you."  
Sherry tried to shove him away. "I don't want your fucking help. I want the truth."  
His face darkened then. "The Organization doesn't want you to know."  
He was angry now, but she truly didn't care. For a moment she let the words hang between them. She took a deep breath, but held his glare.

"Then they can go to hell."

It was interesting to watch emotions change so fast. Whatever anger had been written over Gin's face was now exchanged by cold fury.

"Watch out, love, people might start to question your loyalty as well."  
"They might be right to wonder." She spat.  
"This is treason." His voice was so low, she had to lean in to hear him.  
"So be it."  
There was a pause in his movement, just for a short moment, but it had been there nonetheless. She knew it was the last chance he would give her. The last chance for her to take back what she'd said. It was much for someone like him to offer, but it wasn't enough. It wouldn't bring her sister back. It wouldn't set anything right. It was useless.  
Sherry had said what was left to say, so she remained silent.  
Gin, understanding her answer, nodded.  
"As you wish."

After that, things had gotten dull. Vodka had appeared at some point, she guessed. He and Gin had lead her down some stairs and when the world had slowly started to put itself together again, Sherry'd found herself chained to a pipe in some of the lab's cellars. The anger was gone, even the pain; everything that remained was numbness.

That was how it would end, she thought. After all those years in which she'd followed the Organization's wishes, after she'd even started to think that a life like her's wasn't too bad, she realised that everything had been for naught. Nothing made sense without her sister.

Now, everything she could do was waiting for her end. Sooner or later they would come back with her punishment.  
It was cold in the cellar and when Sherry put her hands inside the pocket of her lab coat for some warmth, she felt the small pill at her fingertips. Surprised she took it out. She tried to remember when she'd put one of the drugs in her pocket, or why, but she couldn't find an answer. Perhaps her subconsciousness had already prepared for an outcome like this.  
Now, she regarded her deadly work- it was made of equations and poison, of nightmares and devotion. It was made of things she understood; things that made sense.

And just like that it was decided.  
She knew Gin would be beyond mad upon finding her dead. A little piece of her even wondered if he would be sad as well. She doubted it.  
In the end, it didn't even matter.

When Sherry took the pill to her lips and swallowed it, it felt like the only logical thing to do.

It had been a few hours since he'd locked her in the cellar, enough time for her to regain her senses. He'd been mad, but her behavior was nothing he couldn't handle. He would forgive her words; though, he admitted that her new attitude might turn out to be somewhat worrisome. As always, Gin would keep both eyes on her.

The heavy door opened slowly, and when he could see into the cellar the water bottle he'd bought fell from his hands. There was no sign of Sherry whatsoever. He picked up the lonely handcuffs that were still fastened to the pipe. She was gone, but it didn't make sense.  
Nobody had the key to the cellar, except him, and the lock hadn't been picked.  
He looked around silently, while his head worked like crazy.  
The only other exit from the cellar was a rubbish chute. He didn't even bother opening it. No fully grown person- not even someone as petite as Sherry- would've fit through it.  
Yet, she was in fact gone.  
She'd escaped them, _him_ , which made her nothing less than a traitor.

It was impossible that she'd been able to escape by her own, through, so there must have been another person to help her. Had he missed something even before killing Miyano?  
Gin left swiftly. It didn't matter who'd helped her, but he would find them.

A traitor was a traitor, whatever history there was between them. And traitors needed to be punished.  
It was the only logical thing to do.


End file.
